“Hello, my friend, hello
Just [blogged] to let you know
I think about you ev’ry night
When I’m here alone
And you’re there at home, hello

~ Neil Diamond, “Hello Again”

As I write this I wonder if you still visit here. Do you still watch for my posts? Do you read them? If so, I am grateful for your unfailing support. Thank you for sticking with me, for having patience as I find myself, my voice, my process.

I keep trying to make blogging something spectacular and earth shattering for you, like God speaking to Moses in the TEN COMMANDMENTS (not that I’m God or your Moses… just that sometimes as I write I want hear my posts being read in those deep bass tones.) Yet everything seems to come out Mickey Mouse instead. Or perhaps its more like Eeyore and Grumpy had a baby and that’s my blog–all awkward and stubby and so strange your not sure whether to be fascinated or repulsed. Or maybe, MAYBE, it’s like the alien in a jar but when you get up close you realize it’s just a cow fetus placed upside down and you leave a bit disappointed.

I don’t know what this is to you. I suppose I barely know what it is to me. Lydia Sharp has me thinking a lot about that. Why do I blog? Why do I want to?The industry tells me this is to woo readers, but that just makes me feel creepy, like Christopher Walken in a silk evening robe trying to keep you from leaving his hotel room. I think, if I were to set the industry leaders aside, I think this blog would just be a way for me to chat with you over long distances. Less icky hotel room and more side-street Paris cafe.

Paris, cafe

Copyright © 2011 Melissa Delzio via Flickr, cc Some right reserved

*hands you a warm cup of coffee (or hot chocolate or tea… whatever you prefer)*

A place with cobblestones and history where we could discuss life and culture and people–the ones who hurt us and the ones who remind us the world is still a good place to be.

Can it be that? Instead of the awkward Eeyore/Grumpy fetus hanging upside down in a jar? I hope so.

Then again, I suppose that’s up to me, isn’t it? I’m the one who has to get rid of all the pretenses and “should-bes” and soap boxes–flipping them over to fill with flowers rather than speeches. I’m the one who has to change her expectations because, as I learned recently, I can only put out the table and order the coffee and keep an umbrella handy in case it rains. You are the one who decides whether or not to sit down or how long you’ll stay.

I hope you’ll stay awhile, my friend. I hope you’ll stay.

And I’ll try to remember that it doesn’t have to earth shattering to be posted here… my thoughts only have to be heartfelt, honest, and sincere. So…

“Hello, my friend, hello
It’s good to need you so
It’s good to love [adore, cherish, get to know] you like I do
And to feel this way
When I hear you say, hello”

~ Neil Diamond, “Hello Again”